I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
