New invention idea: vibrating tampons
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm passing your future prison.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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