I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
