what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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