I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
