also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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