I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
