mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize