i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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