that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
