Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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