Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
