So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
