I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
