I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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