they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
