I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Come share oat with me in your robe
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
