you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
