apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
