I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
