He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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