I hate your face
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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