Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
