So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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