You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
