if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize