Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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