i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize