I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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