How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
