i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
