please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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