Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize