Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
