i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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