I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
