Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
