Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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