To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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