marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
