He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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