Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
