sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize