We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
