Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize