No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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