just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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