Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Let's get the cat blown out
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
