The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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