I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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