Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
