I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
