i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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