Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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