Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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