Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
