The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
and you fell through a lawn chair
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
