My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I will pee on everything he values.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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