She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
