Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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